Getting Behind

Son of a monkey, I'm so behind on this bloggage. Yes, that's really more than THREE weeks without a post.

Keeping a daily blog with any hint of meaningful content is more difficult than I could have imagined. Especially when I spend 90% of my time either out of the country or at the bar.

I will fix this. Recaps of Auckland and Melbourne forthcoming.

The problem is I am leaving for Costa Rica in two days. And I just found out yesterday. Shit.

The Great Luggage Caper

Miss Cleo, go fuck yourself.

As I so adeptly predicted, my airline decided that my luggage wasn't quite ready for New Zealand yet. I landed on Tuesday, cleared passport control, and waited at the big black conveyor belt for my big black luggage. And waited.

After watching the same few bags float by about 15 times, I headed to the Qantas counter to make them aware of their incompetence. The lady was very nice, and I figured it didn't do a bit of good to get angry about the whole ordeal. It's not like I didn't know this was coming. So I laughed and joked my way through the paperwork process, though it took a ridiculously long time. They couldn't locate my bags in their "system", but they took all of my information, just in case they happened to stumble across them. Obviously, they have a great "system" of bag location. And I love how they call it "delayed luggage" when they have absolutely no idea which hemisphere my bags are in.

I didn't even bother harassing them or pushing for any compensation. Part of that was because I was just too tired to argue. And the other part was they hooked me up with a flippin' sweet Qantas T-shirt and a pair of Qantas boxers. Ship it crucial! Also, with the foresight of an oracle, I bought myself an annoyingly bright green and yellow "Australia" jumper in Sydney, and it looks like I get to wear that until the rest of my gear turns up. I did, however, neglect to understand that there is some good-natured rivalry and tension between Australia and New Zealand, similar to the relationship between the USA and Canada, but maybe a tad more insulting and hostile. They like each other, they just don't ... "like" each other. So now I'm the jackass wearing the bright yellow Australia get-up in Kiwi country. Good work, Eric.

Anyways, dodging the sideways looks from the locals, I made it to my hotel, the SkyCity Grand... and it is wonderful. SkyCity is a massive complex of hotels, shops, restaurants, bars, and casinos, and it is home to the tallest building in the Southern Hemisphere. The SkyTower stands 1,076 feet (328 meters) above Auckland, and it is a beautiful and photogenic building. I haven't explored much yet, but the rest of SkyCity looks very nice as well. Modern, clean, and upscale. Can't wait to check it out a little more. The best part of living under the tallest building in half the Earth is that it's damn near impossible to get lost when wandering around the city.

And the staff at the hotel is absolutely top-notch. At least I thought so until I was awakened by a loud knock on my door at 7:30am this morning, after just a few hours of sleep. I snapped awake and was immediately pissed off for just a second, until I realized that I was indeed waiting for that knock on my door. I jumped out of bed and opened the door to find a gentleman in a crisp white shirt holding my beloved luggage. I thanked him, grabbed my shit, and went straight back to bed for another few hours.

I love you, luggage. Welcome home to daddy.

A New Place

I am indeed in Auckland, New Zealand now, and it is gorgeous. The way the harbour cuts its way in and out of the landmass is something I've never seen before in a major city. The weather is off the chain though -- alternating between brilliant sunshine, torrential rain, and driving winds here in the early part of Spring. Cold at night and in the morning, and comfortably warm during the day.

I know I have a bit of catching up to do for you, but it's going to have to wait. Today was Day 1a of the APPT Auckland, and despite the fact that we played just seven levels, I am beat. I am still a little travel weary, and I'm can't think of anything except how sweet it's going to be to climb into the very comfortable king-size bed behind me. Perhaps the front desk won't feel the need to call my room at 7:30 tomorrow morning, as they did today. Although, it was for a good reason. More on that later though.

Fair warning that there will be no "Musings on the NFL" this weekend. In fact, there won't even been any NFL watching for me (insert frowny face here). Rugby is king in this place. I love that game; it's like an organized version of "Kill the Carrier" that we all played on the middle school playground. We also called it "Smear the Queer", and I never found that odd until just this very minute.

Anyways, I'll catch you up tomorrow on the rest of my travel ordeal, and I'll try to get a few words in about the APPT as well. Until then!

Cowboys, Wallabies, and Kiwis

Finally.

I am finally aboard the last leg of the flight to my final destination for this here little voyage: Auckland, New Zealand. This trip began for me at 2:40pm on October 5th in Raleigh, North Carolina, and it is now 4:18pm local time on October 7th... and I am still on an airplane. No, I didn't fly for two straight days, although it does feel like it a bit. Something even stranger and more frustrating happened.

I lost October 6th completely. Just gone. *POOF* I hope I didn't have anything important going on that day.

Anyway, the first three legs of my trip were on American Airlines, who partners with Qantas to fly these routes to Australasia. Raleigh/Durham to Dallas, smooth as a baby's bottom on that MD-S80. I lounged around in the massive DFW airport for a couple of hours, waiting to catch my connection to the left coast. I was scheduled into LAX and then direct to Auckland (AKL). Window seat next to some giggly gay guy who was going to L.A. for "a conference". Fine.

So we fly on for a while... I'm not really sure how long, or what our total time en route was supposed to be. But we were flying for a while. Long enough for me to be thinking that we must be nearly to California by now. As I was looking down reading my magazine, the shadows suddenly changed, and a line of silhouettes paraded across the pages in front of me. I glanced out the window to find us making a big, sweeping left turn towards, well, Mexico. As far as I knew, there were no big, sweeping left turns towards Mexico in the flight from Dallas to L.A. Sure enough, a minute or two later, the Captain's voice came booming over the P.A. System:

"Uhhhhh folks, this is your Captain once again from the flight deck. Unfortunately, our First Officer has become ill, and we're going to be diverting to El Paso. He is fine for the time being, but he just doesn't feel 'right', so we're going to get down and get him some treatment."

Son of bitch, you have to be kidding me. This is only the second time I've been diverted in my life -- the other time was weather-related. I see the whole scene unfolding in my mind. I picture us landing on some dirt field in El Paso with a bunch of vaqueros on bareback shouting and firing guns into the air. Tumbleweeds roll down the landing strip as we touch down, running over rattlesnakes and armadillos with those giant airplane tires as a cloud of dust envelops the aircraft. It wasn't quite that bad, but it was indeed a tiny little airport in the middle of nowhere. It was the middle of the evening, yet the cafes and shops inside the so-called "terminal" were all closed. Welcome to El Paso.

As I sat there shaking my head, I ran through the whole scenario in my brain. The FAA requires that all commercial flights be overseen by two capable pilots, so we couldn't just go on with the Captain only. If we had been able to make it to a hub city -- like Phoenix -- it's likely we would have been down and back up in the air in very short order. But when something like this happens in the boondocks, they have to find another First Officer who is available somewhere in the country and then fly him in before he can get to work. To complicate things further, the flight crew is only permitted by law to work a certain number of hours in a day. This being the last leg of their workday, all of them were drawing dangerously close to the cutoff for getting airborne. If we couldn't get our First Officer in time, the flight would be grounded for the night.

Finally, after almost four hours, our man arrived, and we had our full flight crew ready to go. Time to do some math. It was about 8:30pm local time when we got the wheels up from border-town, making it 7:30pm in L.A. My connection to Auckland left at 9:05pm, giving me 1:35 to make it there. Total flight time for this leg: 1:55. That's not good. So I crossed my fingers and willed the pilot to shove those throttles forward right to the stops.

After what seemed like an eternity, we finally descended towards L.A., with me checking my watch every minute or so. It was 9:35 by the time we hit the ground. I noticed a beautiful Qantas 747 being pushed back from the gate as we approached the one adjacent, and I couldn't help but wonder if that was my New Zealand flight rolling out of reach. I bolted off the plane and grabbed the first airline rep I saw.

"Did New Zealand leave yet?!"

"Yes, that flight's just gone."

Son of bitch, again. I knew that was going to happen. In fact, I knew it was going to happen so surely that I had already been in touch with the airline while I was sitting in the El Paso International Shanty/Airport. I already had a flight lined up in case I missed the connection. It was less than ideal though. The next flight direct to Auckland was 24 hours away, the same flight I had missed today. They were able to get me to Auckland only 12 hours late, but I had to fly over New Zealand to Sydney, Australia first. Then, after a three-hour layover, I had to grab another three-hour flight to Auckland.

In total, it's going to end up costing me and extra 12 hours of travel time, seven of which are spent on a plane. Joy.

Finally though, we are descending over the Tasman Sea and should be arriving in Auckland shortly. If the weather holds out, that is. Shit looks nasty up in front of us, and we're bouncing around like the sky is made of rubber.

I bet you a week's paycheck that my luggage is not on this plane with me.

Musings on the NFL: Week 4

The aftermath of Week 4 leaves two troubled head coaches finally without a job. Oakland's Lane Kiffin and St. Louis' Scott Linehan both got the axe early this week, one of them by phone. More on that Oakland debacle later. For the Rams, it was another blown halftime lead and the resulting 0-4 start that sealed their coach's fate. It's going to be interesting to see where these two guys land next in the coaching world. Kiffin especially is a guy who would seem desirable to a top-notch college program. He's young and driven and he has football royalty in his blood -- with his father, defensive guru Monte still employed by the Bucs.

Another story I've been interested in is over in Baltimore, where the Ravens dropped a tough one in overtime to the always-infuriating Pittsburgh Steelers. I wouldn't normally have an interest in Baltimore football, but I am a big Joe Flacco guy. And that's where he happened to end up in the draft.

I watched Flacco intently in college leading up to an appearance in the FCS Championship Game against my Appalachian State Mountaineers last year. The Fightin' Blue Hens of Delaware fell to the mighty Mountaineers, but Flacco was the stud of the game. He impressed me as a guy who had the total package for the position. He has a cannon for an arm, but the feel to put some air under the ball when he needs to. He is tall enough to stand in the pocket and see the field, but he has delicate, quick feet when he needs to escape. In that Championship Game in Chattanooga, Flacco was 23-48 for 334 yards and one touchdown. For the season, he threw for more than 4,200 yards and 23 touchdowns with only five picks. He also ran for four more TD's.

Some Flacco highlights from 2007:

In Sunday's game in the big leagues, Joe was 16-31 for 192 yards, closely paralleling Ben Roethlisberger's numbers on the other side of the ball. The rookie did have one big fumble on the first play of a drive though, and it was returned for a touchdown by LaMarr Woodley, giving the Steelers two scores in 14 seconds. With just that one gaff to his demerit, the team spoke highly of Flacco.

"He didn't get rattled," said wide receiver Derrick Mason. "He showed poise out there and that's all you can ask your young quarterback to do. That second half, they were throwing a lot of stuff at him. Through it all, he showed the poise of a veteran."

The QB summed things up nicely himself in his post-game interview: "I'm proud of the way we came back and tied the game up," said Flacco. "I thought we did a good job of weathering what they threw at us. But I've got to take care of the ball."

Joe Flacco will be a top five QB within the next three years, mark it down.

Another rookie that is making the Baltimore story more intriguing is their head coach, Jim Harbaugh. The ex-QB has his team playing rock solid football -- mostly because Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are still around. Those guys have barely lost a step in the last five years, and they have to be among the hardest-playing players in the league, game-in and game-out. Despite losing the lead and the game to the Steelers, the Ravens are off to a 2-1 start on the year on the backs of their defense. With Cleveland and Cincinnati in disrepair, it looks like it's going to be a two-horse race between Pittsburgh and Baltimore for the AFC North title. The Ravens will get a chance to avenge the loss on December 14th, at home in Baltimore.

Tidbits:

• Detroit, Cincinnati, St. Louis, and Houston are all still looking for their first win this season. Somehow, my Miami Dolphins have already won one!
• Former Broncos running back Travis Henry was arrested this week, accused of distributing cocaine. The charges stem from a bad day in Montana on September 16th, where Henry and his buddy were pulled over with six pounds of ganja and three kilos of coke in the trunk. Oops. During his career, Henry was busted for smoking trees three times by NFL drug tests.
• Yesterday, Vince Young practiced for the first time since Septmber 7th, putting the Titans depth chart in question. Veteran Kerry Collins has the team off to the best start in franchise history, and Young may well be third right now behind Collins and Chris Simms.
• Perennial underachiever Joey Harrington was signed by the Saints on September 19th. Then released last week. Then re-acquired by the Saints yesterday. I'm sure he feels like a valued member of the organization. Of course... his perceived value does closely match his perceived contribution.
• Arizona receiver Anquan Boldin has a fractured sinus membrane as a result of the helmet-to-helmet hit from Jets' safety Eric Smith. Holy friggin' ouch. According to eMedicine, a high-impact sports injury is the second leading cause of this fracture. The first is a high-speed automobile accident. No concussion for Boldin though, and he's meeting with doctors to determine how long he'll take to heal.
• Brett Favre saved my life in fantasy football this week. His numbers: 24-34, 289 yards, 6 TD, 1 INT -- netting me 46.45 whopping points. Many thanks to Glenn for trading him to me midweek.

UltimateF*ck

On Monday, the Kahnawake Gaming Commission released another preliminary statement regarding the UltimateBet superuser situation. In it, they mandate a number of sanctions against the online poker site, including a $1.5 million fine to be paid directly to the KGC. That amount comes in addition to the $6.1 million in reimbursements that UB has already shelled out to the players who were adversely affected.

Also named specifically in the statement is UB founder and former Main Event Chapmion, Russ Hamilton. Things do not look so good for Hamilton here in the early going. The KGC cited "clear and convincing evidence" against him, adding that he was "the main person responsible for and benefiting from the multiple cheating incidents." Oops. And said they are in contact with the "appropriate law-enforcement agencies" regarding the prosecution of several key members, the foremost of which would be Russ Hamilton.

Below is the full text of the most recent statement from the KGC. This is another preliminary report, and we expect a full assessment at a future date:

(MOHAWK TERRITORY OF KAHNAWAKE – September 29, 2008) Kahnawa:ke Gaming Commission ("KGC") Chairman Dean Montour today announced the initial findings of the audit conducted on licensee Ultimate Bet, as well as the sanctions to be imposed.

According to KGC Chairman Montour, the Commission has reviewed the information provided to it over the past months from Frank Catania of Catania Gaming Consultants of New Jersey; Gaming Associates, an Australian game testing company; and the permit holder. Chairman Montour said, "The Commissioners have made several findings of fact with regard to the cheating that occurred on the Ultimate Bet web site that included the identification of some of the individuals responsible for these incidents as well other significant violations of the Kahnawa:ke Interactive Gaming Regulations."

The Commission found clear and convincing evidence to support the conclusion that between the approximate dates of May 2004 to January 2008, Russell Hamilton, an individual associated with Ultimate Bet's affiliate program, was the main person responsible for and benefiting from the multiple cheating incidents. Furthermore, the KGC is currently in contact with the appropriate law enforcement agencies and intends to fully cooperate in the prosecution of all individuals involved in the UB cheating incidents.

Mr. Catania states, "My intention is to provide further information as it is uncovered, although the information already submitted to the KGC relating to Ultimate Bet warrants the KGC taking the actions it has today. Any further evidence uncovered with regard to cheating, withholding or destroying records in our continuing investigation will be reported to the KGC and the proper agency for appropriate action."

As a result of the KGC's findings of fact, the Commission called a special meeting, at which time it was unanimously decided to impose the following sanctions against Ultimate Bet:

1. Ultimate Bet is directed that by November 3, 2008 it shall, under the close supervision of the KGC, its employees and agents, commence refunding all players accounts found to have been adversely affected by the cheating of individuals under the control and supervision of the licensee. It is estimated that Ultimate Bet has to date reimbursed $6.1 million USD to players' accounts found to have been adversely impacted by the cheating activity

2. Ultimate Bet is directed that by November 3, 2008 it is to remove any and all persons deemed as "unsuitable" by the KGC from all involvement with the company, which shall include all levels of ownership, management and operation. Ultimate Bet during that time period until November 3, 2008 is required to continue to provide complete details of all day-to-day operations of the company. These shall include financial as well as daily gaming records to Frank Catania and or his assigns. It is anticipated that this action will provide full disclosure and prevent any further improprieties or wrongdoing from occurring while ensuring that the public is being offered fair and honest games and all player monies will be protected.

3. Ultimate Bet's control system as defined in section 9 of the Kahnawa:ke Interactive Gaming Regulations has been modified to prevent any further incidents of cheating or related improprieties.

4. Ultimate Bet will not delete or modify any logs including but not limited to web logs and game logs as required by the Kahnawa:ke Interactive Gaming Regulations and will continue to have those logs immediately available for inspection by the KGC or its agents.

5. Ultimate Bet shall immediately pay a fine of $1.5 Million USD to the KGC for its failure to implement and enforce measures to prohibit and detect fraudulent activities.

6. Ultimate Bet's failure to comply fully with these measures will result in the immediate revocation of its KGC gaming permit.

Murray Marshall
Senior Advisor
Kahnawa:ke Gaming Commission